West Coast Serenade
by pommedeplume
Summary: (March 2015) Two road trips: Remus and Lily travel to Seattle for Remus's birthday then Remus, Sirius and James head down to San Francisco for Spring Break. (Part 3 of series beginning with The Reclusive Hottie in the Attic.) (New Edit: August 18, 2017)
1. Just Breathe

Remus knew the exact moment he became obsessed with Seattle. A friend when he was ten had a bunch of old nineties alt-rock CDs he'd inherited from his older sister. His friend liked Green Day, Smashing Pumpkins and Stone Temple Pilots. Remus preferred the Seattle grunge bands: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees and others.

He consumed everything he could that was Seattle related and dreamed of living there. The city of grunge had since morphed into a hipster tech-savvy city but it also had a significant queer population. People like Remus lived there. The truth was that if it weren't for his friendship with Lily he might've moved there when he was eighteen, assuming he could afford it and maybe even if he couldn't.

When Lily asked what he wanted to do to celebrate his birthday he wasted no time in saying he wanted to go to Seattle. Lily countered by suggesting Portland because _it was basically the same place, but closer._ Remus countered that if she was driving he wouldn't force her to go somewhere she didn't want to but if she was asking him, it was what he really wanted.

Lily had thankfully smiled in response and gave him a big hug, saying that she would take him where he wanted. Lily was a good friend. Perhaps a much better friend than he deserved.

Once the destination had been settled, they had to figure out more practical concerns. How long would they stay? How were they going to pay for it? Remus certainly didn't expect Lily to pay for everything. She didn't really make that much more money than he did and had more bills than he did. He was benefitting from her only charging him three-hundred dollars a month for renting the attic which allowed him to save a lot of money. He knew there was no other way he could get a room anywhere for a price that low.

Plus, Remus didn't exactly live an extravagant life. A side effect of being an introvert was never going out to spend money. And he didn't particularly like owning a lot of things anyway. His only other bill aside from the rent was Netflix.

So, Remus agreed to split the hotel costs for the two nights they were staying there and take care of as much of the food and gas as possible. It would burn through his savings but he thought it would be worth it.

The only thing that stung was not being able to take Sirius with them. Aside from the fact that this was Lily's gift to him for his birthday Sirius was also still in school during the week and shortly after getting back would be traveling to San Francisco with James for spring break.

Not being able to see Sirius for a couple of days would be sad but Remus hoped he would be distracted by Seattle.

That morning before the drive. he woke up early, unable to sleep due to the excitement. They were leaving at six the day before his birthday so that he would be able to spend all of his actual birthday in Seattle. The drive would take them eight hours, not counting stopping for breakfast so part of the first and third days would be spent on the drive.

The upside to waking up early is that Sirius was up making his morning coffee while Remus was still waiting for Lily to come downstairs from her shower.

"Hey, you," Sirius said with a smile.

"Hey," Remus said.

Sirius poured coffee into his thermos with delicate ease, as if he had been trained in those particular movements of hand, arm and wrist by some sort of expert. Remus couldn't pour soup into a bowl without spilling half of it all over the counter.

"Gonna be weird having such an empty house. You and Lily gone. Peter at Maddy's house…" Sirius said turning around with a sad smile.

"You and James aren't gonna take the opportunity to raise some hell?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius snickered.

"If it was a few years ago we might've. But instead… we'll probably just study and get ready for San Francisco. Oh… That reminds me… I… I wanted to float something by you," Sirius said.

"Float it and I'll see if I can pull it out of the water," Remus said, immediately cringing at his own poor attempt at a joke.

"Originally Peter was supposed to go with us but he dropped out. I was wondering… James and I were wondering if you… uh… wanted to take his place?" Sirius said, cringing almost as if expecting a no.

Remus froze, feeling stunned. It was one thing going to Seattle with Lily who was his actual comfort blanket and another thing entirely to head down to San Francisco for an entire week with a couple of guys who he liked but whom hadn't achieved comfort blanket status.

"Sure. Maybe. Umm… L-Let me think about it?" Remus stammered.

"Well… you can't wait too long. We're leaving Saturday," Sirius said.

Remus felt suddenly filled with panic. He wanted to say yes as much as he wanted to say no.

"I'll tell you by the time I get back from Seattle. It's a lot to take in… at once," Remus said.

Sirius smiled.

"Fair enough. I look forward to your answer," Sirius said.

"Hey guys," another voice said from behind Remus.

"I just asked Remus about San Francisco, James," Sirius said.

Remus turned around to flash James Potter a smile before quickly averting his eyes as per usual.

"Cool," James said, going over and opening the refrigerator.

James was dressed sharply. For such a laid back and cool guy, he was a bit of a prep. He looked the sort of guy that would've bullied him in high school but it was clear that James Potter wasn't the type to be mean to someone who didn't deserve it, at least according to Sirius.

"I'll tell you guys what I decide soon," Remus said.

"Take your time," James said.

Remus smiled and left the room, feeling a little overwhelmed by anxiety.

* * *

There was a lot of chatting happening downstairs, Lily realized, as she walked stepped out of her bedroom, backpack strapped onto her back. She marched downstairs wishing she had time to put a whole lot of caffeine in her body. She had gotten stoned out of her mind the night before, knowing that she probably wouldn't be getting high the next couple of days, even if marijuana was legal in Washington.

Lily arrived downstairs and walked into the kitchen. She poked James in the back and he turned around, quickly giving her a slow, soft kiss. Oh, she would miss making out with James more than she was going to miss smoking pot, that was for damn sure. He never failed to take her breath away.

"Damn. If I'd known that was the kind of goodbye you were gonna give me I would've came down sooner," Lily said, feeling flushed.

James laughed and shrugged, running dark fingers through his hair in that way that always looked cooler than it should. Lily leaned up and kissed him again then giggled as she pulled away.

"Goodbye, Sirius," Lily said.

"What? You're not gonna kiss me goodbye too?" Sirius joked.

Lily just rolled her eyes and left the kitchen to meet up with Remus. The truth was she'd love to find out what kissing Sirius was like but she knew he wasn't really expecting a kiss and she didn't want to step on Remus's toes. Just because you were poly didn't mean you had to be careless with people's feelings and comfort, in Lily's opinion.

"Ready?" Lily asked Remus, who was literally standing on the doormat and looking antsy.

"I was born ready," Remus said with a big grin.

"OK. Let's go. Goodbye, boys. Don't burn my house down or I _will_ have to kill you both," Lily said with a wink.

"Burn the house down, you said? Will do," James called out, making Lily snort.

Remus went outside to Lily's car and she followed. By the time she had reached the car he had already put his seat belt on. Lily opened her car door and laughed.

"You're not the least bit excited, are you?" Lily snarked.

"Not even a little bit," Remus grinned.

Lily looked around. The sun would be up before too long. She was hoping to enjoy some of the Oregon coast before they had to abandon it to get on I-5. She was also looking forward to driving through Portland. She credited Portlandia to arousing her interest in the city. She had shown some of it to Remus before but he didn't seem to get the humor.

She was looking forward to attending Portland pride that summer. For years she had been dreaming of attending pride in a city that was really packed with a lot of queer people. She had mentioned it to Remus and he had been non-committal. She knew he would probably do almost anything she wanted to do out of loyalty so she was always careful to make sure he really wanted to do things before making too much of a fuss. She hoped he would come with her to Portland pride and hoped this trip to Seattle would help him come out of his shell some more.

She also thought Sirius might enjoy pride as well. He apparently had never attended pride in San Francisco for various reasons. She thought Sirius would benefit from loosening his collar a little and experiencing the sheer joy and wholeness pride provided. Or he would be like Mary and decry it as capitalist trash that didn't do enough to represent queer people who were bi, trans or ace. Lily felt she could see the problem with the latter and still enjoy the former but she was sympathetic towards those who couldn't.

Lily plugged her iPod in and started the playlist she assembled of Seattle bands. Remus grinned as the music started to play.

"Here we go," Lily said.

* * *

 _Did I say that I need you?_

 _Oh, oh, did I say that I want you?_

 _Oh, oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see_

 _No one knows this more than me_

 _As I come clean_

Remus awoke to Pearl Jam playing over the stereo. They had stopped in Coos Bay for lunch and were now on the way to Portland. Lily was singing along with the song, probably sounding better than Eddie Vedder himself did.

"I dozed off," Remus admitted.

"I noticed. That's fair. I would probably nap too, if I could," Lily said.

Remus checked his phone. Two texts from Sirius:

 **Hope you are having a safe drive!**

 **Thinking of reading Reliquary of Blood again.**

Remus grinned and replied with a smiley face.

"Flirting with your boy?" Lily teased.

"He's not my boy!" Remus laughed before adding, "At least I don't think he is?"

"The suspense is killing me, man! Will they? Won't they? That shit drives me up the wall!" Lily said then snickered.

"You're one to talk," Remus said.

"Hey, I have no illusions about what's happening between me and James Potter. Will we? Yes, we will. We _will_ so much you won't even believe it. We're gonna will everywhere every minute of every day," Lily said, then cackled.

"Can we agree my bed is off limits?" Remus said.

"I don't just mean sex, dork! I mean… you know. Everything," Lily said.

"Maybe I am taking things too slow with Sirius. I'm almost twenty-one and don't have one partner. You're twenty-one and nearly have three. I need to get with the program," Remus complained.

"Do you think you could ever do it?" Lily asked.

"Sex?" Remus asked in shock.

"No! Polyamory. Or non-monogamy?" Lily said.

"I mean we've had this conversation before… But I mean… I guess? It's hard to picture it happening to me. Sirius is like some mythical creature… sasquatch or something. That rare being that finds me attractive. What are the odds of more than one person ever finding me attractive?" Remus said.

"Hey, I find you attractive!" Lily said.

"You don't count," Remus said.

"Rude!" Lily replied.

Remus decided to move on from that and continued the thought with Sirius: "So, let's say that Sirius and I actually… happen… whatever that means exactly. And let's say Sirius liked someone else… I think I'd be OK with him and other people. I guess I'd just want to… know what's up," Remus said.

They stopped at a red light and Lily turned and smiled at him.

"That's a mature attitude. I don't have to tell my girlfriends what's up but I really prefer to," Lily said.

"Lily… I have a question… about Mary and Dorcas… sort of…" Remus said as the light turned green and they continued north.

"What's that? Ask away!" Lily said.

"What's… what's the end goal with those relationships? Like… straight people have this set path… meet, fall in love, get married, get a house, have kids… What do people like you… people like us, do?" Remus asked.

Lily snickered and shrugged.

"Whatever we want, dude. I think people should just do what makes them happy, not what society wants them to. And that applies to straight people too. There's nothing wrong with those things. Besides, I already have a house!" Lily said.

"That you can barely afford," Remus countered.

Lily frowned, seeming wounded.

"I can afford the house. The taxes… are a different challenge. I'm glad they let me set up payments. I may need to get a second job. Or really step up my camming," Lily said.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. It's none of my business," Remus said.

"Sure it is," Lily said.

"You could raise my rent," Remus said.

Lily shook her head.

"No. I won't do that. This is _my_ problem. I will deal with it," Lily replied resolutely.

"Fair enough," Remus said, not wanting to press her further.

"Anyhow… If you want the truth about where I think things with Mary and Dorcas are going… I really don't know. The distance is a problem. Dorcas has suggested she might move out here at some point, but not until after she's done with school. Mary… I think Mary doesn't want to be tied down to any one place. I might have to accept a future where she flits in and out of my life. And that's fine. People should have the relationships that suit them best. There's no need to force a lifestyle for some stupid ideal," Lily said.

"What about marriage?" Remus asked.

Lily shrugged.

"I mean… I can't marry more than one partner. The whole notion of marriage is just… it's such a bullshit patriarchal idea. But it's hard to deny that there are legal benefits. Maybe if I had a child with someone…" Lily said, scrunching up her face with confusion.

"Which brings us to…" Remus started.

"Someday. Not today," Lily said.

"Would you adopt?" Remus said.

"No. I mean… probably not. But I really want to have my own child. Even if I somehow end up single… I'll go the IVF route if I have to. That's just… something I really want," Lily said.

"Funny given how pro-choice you are," Remus said with a grin.

"And it's my choice. And if I were to unexpectedly get pregnant I would still weigh my options. That would also be my choice," Lily said firmly.

"Yeah. I know. I'm just joking," Remus said.

Lily smiled and the drive carried on.

* * *

Around noon they stopped for gas just past Portland. Lily didn't feel that driving along the interstate had given her the same appreciation for Portland that a proper visit would give her but she was still a bit excited to have gone through it.

While Remus was using the restroom Lily texted James:

 **Hey. Been thinking about you.**

 _What about me?_

 **Your cute butt ;)**

 _You haven't even seen my butt!_

 **I've squeezed it. I can picture it in my mind ;)**

 _Undressing me in your mind, are you?_

 **Dude, I'm doing a lot more than undressing you ;)**

James didn't immediately reply to that. Lily had fun flirting with him like that. She was always curious what it would take to get him flustered but he was pretty good at keeping his cool.

Remus got back to the car as James replied:

 _Oh yeah?_

 **Hell yeah.**

"Flirting?" Remus asked.

"Something like that," Lily admitted.

 _Really wishing I wasn't out having lunch right now…_

 **Uh oh. Do we have a situation?**

 _…Yeah._

 **Oops. So I guess I *shouldn't* go on to tell you all the things I think about after undressing you…**

 _God please no. I'm at Jack in the Box._

 **LOL damn, dude. Well, we've gotta hit the road. Still three hours to Seattle. XOXO**

 _Drive safe. I'm just going to… sit here. Possibly forever._

Lily felt a little bad for James. She was a hot herself but Remus had no way of knowing, especially not with his lack of sexual experience. Lily tried to eliminate thoughts of James rushing home instead of going to class just so he could take care of his _situation_ from her mind, though it was an exciting fantasy.

"Final push," Lily said, and put her seat belt back on.

"Hooray!" Remus shouted and Lily began to drive.

* * *

Arriving in Seattle wasn't a magical moment in and of itself but Remus thought it was pretty exciting. The excitement had begun as they passed the state capitol, Olympia. Lily had been excited to cross the turn for Sleater-Kinney road as she had become a big fan of that band thanks to Carrie Brownstein being on Portlandia. She even played their new album just in time to pass Olympia.

The most exciting part of passing through Tacoma was the incredible view of Mt. Rainier, which he managed to get a pretty good picture of to send to Sirius who sent a one word reply of _Cool_.

"Tacoma looks boring. And I mean, Mt. Rainier is neat but isn't it basically guaranteed to erupt at some point?" Remus said.

"Yeah," Lily said.

"I don't see the point of Tacoma. Seattle and Portland are nearby. I mean, I'm sure it has its own culture… I guess," Remus said.

"Well, it's still at the south end of Puget Sound. Having access to the Pacific Ocean is valuable," Lily said.

"I guess," Remus replied.

The suburbs between Seattle and Tacoma weren't any more exciting than Tacoma was but he did find passing SeaTac airport to be exciting. Once they finally arrived in South Seattle they had to stop to check into their hotel. South Seattle seemed sort of bland and industrial but the hotel prices were also far more reasonable.

They got a room with a single king size bed. For whatever reason it was cheaper and Remus and Lily had slept in the same bed together tons of times before. By the time they were checked in it was already past four in the afternoon, leaving them perhaps an hour of daylight, most of which would be occupied by driving downtown, then locating parking and they were still discussing what they wanted to do that evening on the drive to downtown.

They both had assembled lists of possible things they could do while in Seattle, though Remus had a few mandatory things he wanted to knock off during their short time. Many things were eliminated by virtue of sunset.

"Oh my god, this traffic is ridiculous. How do these people _live_ like this?" Lily said, looking intense and irritated.

Remus, who didn't exactly have any driving experience and had never spent much time in major cities, couldn't really tell the difference. He decided to be quiet and let Lily navigate through the mess.

They arrived downtown and found parking just as the sun had fully set, still without a plan.

"Your birthday isn't until tomorrow so I can't even take you to a bar," Lily said, frowning and undoing her ponytail, tossing her hair tie in her purse.

"It's kind of chilly isn't it?" Remus said.

"Yeah. I should've worn a sweater," Lily said.

Lily was instead wearing a purple t-shirt that had a low-cut neckline, showing off her ample cleavage and one of her nice pairs of jeans. Her lips were adorned with an especially vibrant shade of dark-red lipstick that matched her hair and contrasted with her eyes. She looked cute in Remus's estimation, though she often did.

"I mean… I guess we can walk around? Must be something open, right?" Remus said.

"Of course, there's something open. Yeah. OK. Fuck it," Lily said with a shrug.

* * *

Lily fell onto their hotel bed with a thud.

"I can't believe we went to Seattle just to see a movie," Lily said.

"You have to admit there's value in going to Seattle to see a movie set in Seattle," Remus said.

"But Fifty Shades of Grey? I mean… damn," Lily said.

Lily pulled out her phone and texted James:

 **We just got back to the hotel from seeing Fifty Shades of Grey.**

"Yeah. I mean… I'm pretty sure I've written stuff sexier than that movie and I've never even had sex before," Remus said, flopping on the other side of the bed.

"Reliquary of Blood is definitely hotter. And I've read way better BDSM fic," Lily said.

Lily's phone chimed.

 _Was it good?_

 **LOL no.**

 _Oh? I heard it was hot._

 **Not really. It was kinda fucked up.**

 _I confess I know nothing about BDSM._

 **REALLY?**

 _Yeah._

 **I've gotta educate you!**

 _Oh… is it something you are into?_

 **Not really, though I'm flexible with light bondage ;)**

Lily set her phone down, anticipating a short wait before James replied to that one.

"I was thinking about writing a little BDSM in my Peggy/Angie fic. I think it suits them," Lily said as her phone chimed again.

 _Like… you doing the tying or getting tied? O.O_

 **Yeah. Might depend who I'm with. But I'm always GGG.**

 _GGG?_

 **Good, giving and game. Google it.**

"James has never heard of GGG," Lily said with amusement.

"Sometimes I feel like I know more about sex than most people who have it on a regular basis, present company excluded, of course," Remus said.

"Who knows? Maybe you could teach me something," Lily said then stuck her tongue out at him.

Remus clutched his stomach in laughter, turning red. Lily's phone chimed.

 _I don't really have any fetishes. Is that weird?_

 **You're only twenty. I think those develop over time.**

 _Do you have any?_

Lily chuckled, feeling herself flushing with excitement. James was definitely starting to play along.

 **Wouldn't you like to know ;)**

 _…Yeah?_

 **If I just tell you wouldn't that spoil the fun?**

James didn't immediately reply. Remus's eyes were closed and Lily elbowed him.

"Remus. You should get your bed clothes on," Lily said.

"Huh? I was just… resting my eyes," Remus said, getting up from the bed and going over to his backpack to pull out his pajamas.

Lily set her phone down and did the same. Remus went into the bathroom to change while Lily removed her t-shirt, bra and jeans by the bedside. When Remus came back out she was standing in just her shorts and pulling her tank top down over her chest.

"Oh," Remus said in surprise.

"It's just my boobs, dude. You've seen my boobs," Lily said with a sarcastic look.

"I know. I just wasn't expecting them," Remus said, his face turned away in apparent embarrassment.

Lily climbed into bed and they turned the lamps out. Lily checked her phone.

 _Guess I'll just have to imagine._

 **OK. Fine. I confess. I have a marble fetish.**

 _What's that?_

 **Idk. I just made it up. But odds are it's a real fetish. Everything is a fetish!**

 _Really?_

 **Probably. But for real, I have a pink unicorn fetish. DON'T JUDGE ME.**

 _I won't. I mean, I don't even know what that is._

 **ROFL. I'm kidding. Tho unicorns are fuckin' badass.**

Remus had already begun to snore. Lily knew she was physically exhausted, having been up for something like nineteen hours, but the current conversation was keeping her invested in remaining awake.

 _Okay, cuz I thought maybe it was like… the horn was a penis?_

 **ROFL WUT?**

 _Idk. It's not my fetish!_

 **Mine either!**

 _Can't you tell me like… one thing that turns you on?_

 **You.**

Lily grinned and licked her lips. Let's see how he reacts to that, she thought.

 _I do?_

 **Yeah. The way you kiss me.**

James was starting to take a little longer to reply. Lily felt hot and arousal will filling her body. She found herself picturing James's full lips exploring her body and she clenched her thighs in excitement.

 _I like how you kiss too._

 **What do you like that I do?**

 _This is gonna sound stupid but I love your smile._

 **That's not stupid. That's sweet :)**

Lily could feel herself blushing. Did he really _have_ to be so perfect?

 **So we've established a mutual mouth admiration ;)**

 _Mouths are good._

 **Useful… for things ;)**

 **Oh yeah ;)**

Lily wondered if James was imagining him using his mouth on her or the other way around? She decided to split the difference and imagine them both, which was quite nice. James took even longer to reply this time.

 _Can't believe I'm awake. You're distracting._

 **Same. You too ;) Too bad I'm not alone.**

Lily didn't suppose it would be appropriate to touch herself while her best friend slept a mere foot and a half away from her. The idea of waking Remus up to get his permission and allowing him to watch her do it was very exciting but she knew it was only a fantasy and probably not a realistic scenario. She wasn't sure what Remus's reaction would be but she sure as hell wasn't going to bust it out on him to find out.

 _I don't have that problem. My best friend isn't even on the same floor ;)_

Lily bit her lip and decided to get bold.

 **Are you jacking off?**

 _Yeah._

 **Nice.**

Lily was feeling properly worked up now. She considered dashing into the bathroom but still wasn't confident she would be able to keep quiet enough to not risk waking Remus up. She was again torn by the fact that the idea of being caught by Remus turned her on but she knew the reality would be different and more awkward and complicated.

 **God, I wish you weren't about to go to San Francisco for a week.**

 _Yeah._

James was clearly far too focused on the task literally at hand to text anything complex now. Lily felt like she was on fire. She tried desperately to banish naughty thoughts about her best-friend lying next to her. But sometimes she wished he knew how hot he was. She wished she could show him.

Lily exhaled and threw her head back in frustration. The brain was a frustrating thing while you were sexually aroused. Right now she was so turned on she felt theoretically ready to bone any hot person who might feel inclined. She knew that if Remus were to spontaneously wake up at that very moment and ask her for sex she would be all over him.

But really, she wanted James. But James was far.

 **Did you cum or fall asleep?**

 _I came. Sorry._

 **Nbd.**

And it wasn't a big deal. If anything it was ideal. If James went to bed she could hopefully push the sexy thoughts out of her head. She needed sleep. They had a busy day scheduled tomorrow.

A few minutes later James replied again:

 _Omg so tired._

 **Same.**

 _Must sleep. Night night Lils._

 **Night :)**

Lily set her phone aside. After a quick trip to the bathroom she was back in bed. She tried to think of anything but sex or anything that might lead to her thinking about sex. She instead thought of puppies, which she wagered was the one thing guaranteed not to lead her down any erotic pathways. She felt herself starting to slip away right as she was wondering if she should get a puppy. The house could use a pet, she thought.

* * *

When the alarm went off at seven in the morning, Remus was so annoyed he almost wanted to climb over Lily to attack it. Instead he just groaned and was shortly thereafter joined by Lily.

"Too soon!" Lily groaned.

"Yeah," Remus said.

Lily turned to Remus and gave him a sleepy smile.

"Happy birthday, Remus," she said.

"Thanks," Remus said.

Remus picked up his phone. He had texts from from James, Sirius and his sister Natalie all wishing him a happy birthday. His sister also sent a second text:

 _Gonna be in San Francisco for spring break next week. Too bad you couldn't come down and say hi. I miss you :(_

Remus was too tired to deal with contemplating the odds that his sister would happen to be in San Francisco the same week that James and Sirius were traveling. Normally, she was attending college down in Los Angeles. The fact that his sister was living on the west coast was another one of the reasons why the move to Oregon hadn't been a big deal, though strictly speaking Los Angeles wasn't terribly close to where he lived, being a fair bit further away than Seattle or San Francisco were.

"Nat's going to be in San Francisco for spring break," Remus said.

"Really? What are the odds?" Lily said, her green eyes wide with a sort of groggy surprise.

"Not impossible. Nat's expressed interest in San Francisco before. But she lives in L.A.. Isn't it sunnier there?" Remus said.

"That's what they say," Lily replied.

"Geez, Lily. You look twice as tired as I feel, which is a lot. Are you gonna be all right?" Remus asked.

Lily shrugged.

"I'll live. I may have stayed up texting James," Lily said, almost looking embarrassed.

Remus just playfully huffed but decided not to give her a hard time over it.

Slowly they both pulled themselves out of bed. Remus knew once they got moving he would get excited. Since today was their only full day in Seattle they planned to make the best of it.

After they both had showers they went and nabbed some breakfast at a nearby Denny's. They then made their way to the Fremont district of Seattle via bus, deciding searching for parking wouldn't be worth the hassle, though figuring out the buses wasn't a simple matter.

Remus had read numerous interesting things about Fremont. Unfortunately, one of the most interesting things was the Solstice Parade which didn't occur until June. But otherwise there was lots of interesting shops to explore, the statue of Lenin to take a picture of and the legendary Fremont Troll.

"This is so cool!" Remus said as he and Lily stood in front of the troll.

It was a large stone troll underneath the highway that had what appeared to be a hubcap for an eye and a Volkswagen beetle clutched in one of it's hands. Remus immediately took a picture and sent it to Sirius.

"Will you take a picture of me sitting on its hand? I wanna send it to James and the girls," Lily said.

"Yeah," Remus said, taking her phone as she dashed over right as a mother and her daughter had just finished taking a picture.

Lily sat down on the troll and opened her mouth wide in a big smile then waved at the camera as Remus took a few snaps.

"Thanks!" Lily said as she hopped down.

"No problem," Remus said.

"Do you want me to do you?" Lily asked.

Remus shook his head. While he would love to have the photo, there were other people around and the idea of being on the spot like that made him anxious.

"You sure?" Lily asked, possibly aware of what his reluctance was.

"Yeah," Remus said, knowing he would probably regret it later.

"OK," Lily said and they marched back down the road.

After walking by Seattle's Google offices and snapping pictures they headed around to Gas Works Park, which was apparently where they let off fourth of July fireworks every year. It was a fairly large open park facing out at Lake Union, on which still stood the former gas plant that gave it its name. People were laying about on the lawn and others were walking dogs or flying kites. Occasionally Remus caught a whiff of marijuana even though he knew it wasn't legal to smoke it in public. They spent a short while exploring the park and taking pictures before deciding to move on.

They hopped on a bus which took them Downtown to the Seattle Center which was where the Space Needle lived. Remus thought it was pretty cool to stand beneath the Space Needle but had no interest in going to the top of it.

"You sure you don't want to go up with me?" Lily asked.

"No. I know myself. I would get halfway up and feel like I was going to die. Sorry," Remus said.

So he stayed in the gift shop that sat at the bottom while Lily went up. She texted him pictures from around the observatory while he walked around the shop.

 _Lily's up in the Space Needle taking pictures._

Remus thought texting Sirius would make him feel better, though he was certain that Sirius was busy with classes at that moment. For the first time since arriving in Seattle, Remus felt a certain longing for Sirius's company. He considered the San Francisco trip again. They hadn't mentioned anything about how he would pay for the trip. James often paid for things for Sirius and he supposed both men knew that he didn't have much money.

Remus decided to text his sister back:

 _I'm actually thinking about going to San Francisco with some friends next week._

After Lily came back down they decided to head down to Pike Place Market, preferring to walk because it wasn't terribly far and it was nice to people watch. As they turned a corner Lily unexpectedly shouted, "PopCap? _The_ PopCap?"

"I guess. Who're PopCap?" Remus asked, seeing the orange sign that said PopCap in front of them.

Lily looked at him with shock.

"Peggle? Plants vs. Zombies? Oh my god, I didn't know they were from Seattle!" Lily said.

Remus chuckled and Lily got him take a picture of her next to the sign then they continued further down towards Elliot Bay so they could walk down 1st Avenue down to Pike Place.

At one point they stopped in front of a place called Belltown Pub and Lily said: "Remus… you are twenty-one. Let me buy you a beer."

Lily glanced inside the place. It didn't seem busy and there were private booths.

"I've never had beer. I assume I won't like it," Remus said.

"Only one way to find out," Lily said with a hopeful grin.

"Oh, all right. But just one beer!" Remus said.

Once inside they went up to the bar. After checking their IDs, Lily asked for something local and not too strong so the bartender recommended Rainier. They then went and sat down at a booth. Nineties alt-rock was playing over speakers and there was a sportsball game on the TVs that were at various places around the walls and over the bar. In an upstairs section there were some people playing pool or perhaps foosball.

Remus sipped his beer with trepidation. The taste was neither as bad as he expected or as good as he would hope. Still, he had no problem slowly working through it, finding himself surprisingly tipsy by the end of it.

"Am I drunk?" Remus said as they stepped outside.

"Probably not," Lily said, taking Remus by the hand down to Pike Place Market.

Pike Place itself proved not to be terribly exciting and if Remus hadn't been slightly relaxed from the beer he was certain he would've been a bit more anxious about how many people flooded the area. They did stop to watch the guys throwing the fish at the fish market and Lily popped into MarketSpice to get some local tea.

They then went down the alley that ran underneath the market to explore the dreaded gum wall.

"Oh my god. This is disgusting but sort of amazing," Lily said.

The walls were covered in pieces of chewed pieces of gum. People were taking pictures of themselves pretending to lick the wall and Remus was horrified but still sent a picture to Sirius and helped Lily take a picture of herself looking horrified at the wall.

After Pike Place they walked down to Pioneer Square so they could do the only set in stone plan they had for that day: the Underground Tour. Remus had seen it recommending on a tourist guy and thought it sounded neat. The tour took them underneath the city to explore older parts of the town and learn about Seattle's history, particularly how the entire city was funded by sex workers. The tour had been in part created to honor those women who history had otherwise forgotten.

After the tour was over they walked over to the Seattle Central Library and tried not to get lost going up and down the spiral. It was a very cool and modern looking library but Remus thought he personally preferred smaller, more intimate libraries.

Next they walked past the Washington State Convention Center then walked up towards Capitol Hill, which people online described as gay, hipster Seattle. On the way up they stopped in a sex toy shop called Babeland, which Lily was very excited about. Remus had never been in a sex toy shop before and was sort of amazed by the different things it contained. Lily took pictures to send to her partners or possibly James. Remus was amused by a few things and considered sending pictures to Sirius but didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

There was a new age witchcraft store nearby which Lily was also a bit excited about and bought some incense. After that they explored a local bookstore and continued to wander about Capitol Hill. There were lots of queer friendly flags and signs in windows. They had seen them elsewhere Downtown but there was far more there.

They finally stopped to sit down at a bakery to eat pastries and Remus caught up with texts from his sister and Sirius. Natalie just say that she hoped she would see him there and Sirius had reacted with enthusiasm to many of the pictures Remus had sent.

 **Seattle looks cool!**

 _It is!_

"So what do you want to do with the rest of our day? I'm fucking exhausted. My legs want to quit," Lily said, looking down at her bare legs with disappointment.

"Mine too. And we're running out of daylight," Remus said.

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel and get some rest. We can just watch cable or something. We can get some dinner in a few hours," Lily said.

"Sounds good to me," Remus said.

He knew their time in Seattle was limited but Lily looked pretty beat. So they figured out what buses to take in order to get them back to the hotel.

* * *

 **I'm so sore. All over.**

 _Too bad I can't kiss it better ;)_

 **Hehe. You'd be welcome to try. Might take a while…**

Lily wanted to play and flirt with James but in reality she was worn out. She and Remus had vastly underestimated how hilly Seattle was going to be. Her legs, butt and back were aching pretty badly and the bottoms of her feet were tender.

 _I was looking at those pictures you sent me. From the sex shop. Interesting…_

 **Yeah.**

Lily was finding it hard to read or focus on James's texts. She was just too tired.

 **We can talk about that stuff later ;) I have to sleep, James.**

 _Night!_

 **Night night :)**

* * *

The following morning they set the alarm for a little later. Not much was planned for that day as they got through most of the things they actually wanted to do the day before. Lily felt bad that they were going to spend most of that day driving back.

The only thing they had left to do was explore the Experience Music Project. They could've done it the day before while they were at the Space Needle but they didn't think they would have time. But it was just as well as now they would be able to take their time exploring all the pop culture the museum contained.

The museum was neat and she found plenty of cool items to take pictures of to show James and the girls. Lily wondered if she and James were reaching the point of moving past being probable boyfriend/girlfriend to being actual boyfriend/girlfriend. Another conversation was needed in the near future, one she hoped would be followed by some very vigorous consummating.

Remus seemed weary. Though clearly he had been excited by the things in Seattle she knew him well enough to know being around so many people had worn him down. He was probably pretty ready to return to his attic to decompress.

Around one in the afternoon they made it back to the hotel and said goodbye to the Emerald City.

"I'd love to come back someday," Remus said.

"Me too. And I bet there's more cool stuff in Washington," Lily said.

"There's a rainforest!" Remus said.

"Isn't that by Forks? Would we encounter sparkly vampires there?" Lily said then laughed.

"God, I hope not," Remus said and they carried on down the road.

* * *

Remus had loved the trip but was just as glad when it was over. Even positive stress is still stress, he realized. Sirius was surprisingly waiting on the coach, watching TV when they got inside.

"Hey," Remus said, smiling at his friend.

"Hey guys. House has been quiet without you… well, even more quiet," Sirius said, standing up and approaching them.

With a smile Sirius unexpectedly wrapped his arms and Remus and hugged him close. Remus felt like time had stopped and he ceased to breathe until Sirius pulled away then hugged Lily. They hugged… They hugged! Remus could feel himself internally shaking with excitement. It had happened so suddenly! It was somehow more exciting than anything that had happened in the past few days.

"I promise I'll tell you everything we did. While we're on the way to San Francisco, I mean," Remus said with a grin.

Sirius's face lit up and he clutched the top of his dark hair with joy.

"You're coming? Awesome!" Sirius shouted.

"Yeah. My sister is going to be in town. I ran out of reasons to say no," Remus said, though privately he wished he had a month to take a rest and not a couple of days instead.

"OK, boys. I've gotta pee and then I'm going to collapse," Lily said and went upstairs.

* * *

After getting out of the bathroom Lily knocked on James's bedroom door.

"Come in," James said faintly.

Lily opened the door and found James lying in bed with just a lamp on.

"Were you sleeping?" Lily asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.

"Not quite. I was hoping you'd stop by to say hello," James said with a grin.

"Hello," Lily said and James chuckled.

"I missed you," James said.

"I missed you too. I can't believe you're gonna be gone for a week," Lily said.

"Yeah. One of these days we're gonna get some proper time together. Though with finals coming up… Might not be until summer," James said with regret.

Lily took one of his hands in hers and lifted it up to her mouth to kiss it.

"I'm hoping we can have another conversation soon… about us. Just check up on where things stand," Lily said softly.

"Yeah. That would be good," James said then yawned.

"I should let you sleep," Lily said and leaned over to give him a kiss.

"Good night, Lils," James said.

"Good night, James," Lily said and left the room to go to bed.

* * *

Remus felt great pleasure at returning to his room. He hadn't been alone for days for more than a minute or two and being back in his own safe space was a relief. He wanted to review all the pictures he had taken and find some choice ones to post to Facebook and Tumblr but for now he needed rest. He had an even bigger trip ahead of him and he hoped he would have the strength to manage it.

He wondered if he would get more hugs from Sirius in San Francisco. He closed his eyes in bed and imagined that moment a short while ago when Sirius embraced him. Yes… if he could get even one more hug from Sirius Black it would be more than worth it to make the trip to San Francisco.


	2. San Francisco Treat

Sirius peered at Remus through the rearview mirror, a Pacific Coast breeze blowing his hair all around as he, James and Remus headed south from their southwest coastal Oregon home to San Francisco. He only allowed himself brief glimpses at Remus. He had wanted to sit in the backseat with him but worried it would be too forward or that he would seem too immature. With James pumping music on the stereo it really wasn't practical to talk anyway.

When quiet moments arrived Remus still didn't say much. He looked uncomfortable and more shy than usual. Sirius faintly wished Lily was there just so that Remus could have her to comfort him but he wished even more than he could be that comfort for Remus.

Remus occasionally sent texts to Lily. Sirius considered texting Remus just to be able talk to him but it didn't seem right. Besides, in hours they would be in San Francisco. They would have plenty of time to talk and bond.

Just before noon, James pulled into a Northern California diner.

"I'm going to die if I don't eat immediately," James said.

"You and your stomach. It's a special relationship," Sirius snarked.

"I'm hungry too," Remus quietly said behind them.

Sirius hoped Remus would be comfortable with the fact that James tended to insist on paying for any meals he ate with anyone. Remus seemed to appreciate doing things for himself as much as possible but also seemed to recognize that it wasn't always possible.

The side of the diner had a large impressive mural painted onto it, an artistic representation of local wildlife, a marina and… Sasquatch.

"Sasquatch helped them build their marina?" Remus asked, standing in front of the mural, grinning at the large depiction of Sasquatch.

"He gets around. Remus… can I take a picture of you?" Sirius asked.

Remus smiled and nodded. Sirius pulled his digital camera out of the pouch he kept around his neck. Remus posed beneath Sasquatch with a handsome smile. Sirius didn't normally take pictures of other people's art but Remus was the real work of art he was trying to capture anyway.

Remus was that rare beauty that looked just as breathtaking when captured on film as when viewed with eyes. Everything about him was firm but delicate. He was a shy, pouty-faced angel who it almost seemed sinful to try to photograph lest you risk God smiting you for your hubris.

"You guys coming or…" James asked impatiently.

"Yes, yes. Temper your stomach, Potter," Sirius said, slipping his camera into the pouch and feeling good about the image he had captured.

Over brunch James couldn't seem to stop texting with Lily Evans. Even across state lines and over a hundred miles away, you could still cut the sexual tension between them with a knife. Sirius privately wished they would just fuck and get it out of their systems. James had never seemed this riled up and Sirius was slightly worried without a pressure release he might explode, metaphorically at least.

Remus didn't say much in their booth, though it was still nice sitting next to him. Remus had mentioned to him before that he hated eating in front of people so Sirius decided not to bother him too much. It wasn't easy, however. The way his golden-brown hair fell into his eyes as he leaned over to scoop egg into his mouth was criminal in its subtle appeal.

With brunch completed, they piled back into the car, with nearly seven hours still left on the drive. Eventually they moved away from the coast as they followed the interstate. By mid-afternoon Sirius was feeling tired of his binder. It was reaching the time of day when he normally got home from college and pulled it off for awhile to breathe more easily.

Sirius had never removed his binder around Remus aside from a few odd quick moments when it was late enough that he had removed it for the night. If they were going to be staying in a hotel together that would be a lot more. Sirius wasn't really worried that Remus would view him any differently without it on but it was another boundary to push past.

Eventually Sirius would get top surgery and he wouldn't have to worry about the stupid binders at all but for now it made being out in the world a bit more tolerable.

When they stopped for gas Remus and Sirius switched places in the car. Sirius wanted to lay down in backseat, though he was taller than Remus and didn't fit as well. He had nearly fallen asleep by the time they reached the Golden Gate Bridge. The sun was setting but Remus still seemed very excited about the sights.

"That's Alcatraz out over there, right?" Remus asked.

"Yup," James said as Remus gazed past James.

Shortly thereafter they made it to the hotel they would be living out of for the next week. They had dinner at one of James's favorite restaurants. Remus had to be coaxed into ordering much of anything, seeming like the prices alone were going to make him faint. If they had all been twenty-one James probably would've ordered some wine but James's birthday was still nearly two weeks away and Sirius's was several months away.

They debated going to see a movie but came to a quick consensus that they all just wanted to collapse in bed. Sirius got into the bathroom first. It was a relief to finally get his binder off. He valued that moment when he was able to take a full, deep breath unhindered. He put on pyjamas and crashed face first onto his bed.

Sirius looked over at Remus who was on his laptop, probably checking his AO3 stats and replying to comments.

"Did you enjoy the drive down?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. I was thinking how cool it would be to drive all the way up the coast, from the bottom of California up to top of Washington," Remus said.

After being so quiet all day it was good to hear Remus's voice. Sirius hadn't realized how exciting this moment would be. He was going to be sleeping in a bed not far from the person that he was coming to accept that he might be falling for.

"Yeah. That does sound nice," Sirius said then yawned.

James exited the bathroom so Remus rushed over to take his place. Sirius wanted to remain conscious long enough to talk more to Remus but felt himself rather swiftly lose that battle as he closed his eyes.

* * *

 **So did the boys make puppy dog eyes at each other all day?**

 _They did a bit._

 **Aww. I really hope they go for it… soon.**

 _Me too. Sirius has never been like this._

 **Remus either. It's so precious.**

James had been waiting all day to text with Lily without interruption. He was exhausted but lately she was all he was able to think about.

 **So how are you? Was the drive alright?**

 _I am tired. So tired. Like… you wouldn't believe how tired I am._

 _The drive was fine. How was your day?_

 **Lots of work. First day of empty house. Had to take advantage and really get a good day in.**

 **With Mary coming in a few days I should try to work my ass off.**

 **Kinda literally ;)**

 _Yeah. Makes sense._

James was proud of himself for only feeling slightly jealous at the idea that Lily's girlfriend was going to be visiting her alone while he was down there in San Francisco. This was all new to him. But he undeniably had feelings for this girl and the more he got to know her the more he discovered that he loved everything about her. The more he thought about polyamory the more sense he thought it made.

He knew her girlfriend's visit would be a test for him. He wanted to prove to both her and himself that he could handle this new situation. He felt excited for her. He knew this would make her happy, even though he still kind of wished he was the one getting several days alone with her.

 **Man. Wish you were here. For a cuddle… or sumthin extra ;)**

 _Heh._

James could feel swift arousal in his boxers, finding it absurd how often he was having to deal with uncomfortable boners lately. It was the curse of having the sort of girlfriend with a high sex drive but never actually finding the time to sync up and get that relief.

 **Seriously… this is so bad.**

 _Yeah. I guess I know how you felt in Seattle with Remus this week._

Only days before, Remus and Lily had been in Seattle for Remus's birthday and he and Lily had been having a great deal of fun texting and getting worked up, only Lily had actually been sharing a bed with her best friend, unable to get any relief.

 **Hehe. How do you feel about payback?**

James stared at the screen. On the one hand he wanted to sleep. On the other hand hormones were raging through his body and there wasn't a force on Earth that could stop him from seeing what happened next. On a phantom third hand, James was also aware that he couldn't exactly jerk off with two of his friends in the same room.

 _I'm already hard lol_

 **Nice. Bet you wish you could touch it.**

 **I wish *I* could touch it.**

James sighed with frustration. He wanted nothing more in the world than to reach into his underwear and appease the aching throb. He wished he could tie his hands up to prevent himself from touching it.

Fuck, James thought, as he realized the idea of being tied up and unable to touch himself only made him more aroused.

 **U OK?**

 _Yeah. Just… thinking._

 **Hehe. I'm playing music. Got vibrator out.**

 **Masturbating then getting stoned is my favorite way to end a day.**

 _Fair._

James wasn't sure he could deal with this. Things were starting to hurt and he didn't think he'd jerked off in several days. That was a big mistake.

 **Mmm. James I so wish you were here.**

 _Me too. Erm… I wish I was there. You being here would be less helpful._

James had a dreaded moment of wondering if one could die from being too sexually aroused. It hurt. Pain was bad, right?

 _I'm so horny. It hurts._

 **:(**

James bit his lip, refusing to give in to the urge to run into the bathroom and pleasure himself over the toilet. He could take care of it in the morning in the shower, free of the worry that anyone might hear him.

 **I'm gonna cum. Oh fuck.**

Moments later Lily sent him a selfie, her dark red hair a mess and her face euphoric, a taste of what she looked post-orgasm.

 _You're so cute ;)_

 **Thanks. I should let you get some sleep. Sorry about your… situation. I know how you feel.**

 _Looking forward to some time alone in the shower in the morning…_

 **Hehe. Sleep well. I'm gonna get stoned and watch Netflix until I pass out.**

 **XOXO.**

 _Night, night._

James set his phone aside and closed his eyes, praying that he would be able to ignore the discomfort below well enough to fall asleep.

* * *

"Jesus, is James ever going to get out of the shower?" Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus had been up on his laptop for at least an hour, probably working on his ongoing fanfic, _Reliquary of Blood_. Even while groggy in the morning, his fingers seemed to glide around the keyboard with swift precision. Sirius sometimes like to imagine holding one of those hands, feeling the softness of his palms.

Sirius climbed out of bed and opened the blinds. It was already shaping up to be a bright day in San Francisco. Today they were going to visit his cousin, Andromeda. She was the only family he remained in contact with. She had always been his favorite cousin and the only one who really seemed to accept his gender.

James finally exited the bathroom with a brief apology. Sirius considered giving him grief for probably jerking off in the shower but let it slide. After Sirius had his turn with the shower they were all dressed and headed off to breakfast. It was a clear but windy day in San Francisco. Sirius was glad that Remus had heeded his warning to bring a jacket and a sweater or two.

After breakfast they went to the Tonks household. When Andromeda Black had married a middle class guy like Ted Tonks the family had been appalled. It wasn't acceptable for someone from the Black family to marry downwards in class. When that family scandal erupted it had been a clear moment to Sirius that told him that most of the family would never accept him.

When they arrived at the house, there was a mousy-haired girl playing in the yard. Andromeda and Ted's daughter was nearly eight now. For some baffling reason they had named her Nymphadora, but Sirius just stuck to calling her Dora.

"Hey, kid," Sirius said.

"Sirius!" the girl said hugging Sirius around his waist.

"This is Remus and you may remember my friend, James," Sirius said, gesturing at them both.

Dora waved to them both then ran up the front porch stairs. As they walked up the stairs behind her, Andromeda stepped out, still wearing her Sunday best, likely having only just got back from church. Ted and Dora usually didn't go with her as far as Sirius knew.

"Sirius!" Andromeda shouted and hugged him tightly.

Hearing a family member use his chosen name was always a delight.

"Andromeda," Sirius said, clutching his cousin firmly.

"And which of these handsome young men are your boyfriend?" Andromeda said.

Sirius's mouth dropped open, feeling stunned.

"Not me," James offered.

"I know. I'm just messing with Sirius. I remember you, James," Andromeda said, giving James a hug.

"I'm Remus," Remus said.

Andromeda smiled warmly at Remus.

"Pleased to meet you," Andromeda said, extending a hand for Remus to shake.

Sirius knew that Remus wasn't a fan of touching strangers but he still reluctantly shook her hand. As they walked inside the house, James and Remus in front of them, Andromeda turned around and mouthed "He's cute!" in silence, making Sirius blush.

* * *

The day at Andromeda's passed with ease. James and Ted Tonks had a lot in common it turned out and drank beer and talked about sportsball all afternoon. Remus was mostly quiet but did get roped into playing catch with little Dora.

Sirius sat on the back porch and drank tea while he caught up on the family with Andromeda, which wasn't exactly his favorite subject.

"Your mother isn't well, Sirius," Andromeda burst out as the sun began to set over the bay.

Sirius nodded, not knowing what he wanted to say.

"If you're thinking of convincing me to go see her…" Sirius trailed off.

Andromeda shook her head.

"I would never do that. I just… didn't want her passing to be a shock like… not like Regulus," Andromeda said, bringing that old sting back again.

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"I know she's probably written you out of her will. But I promise that if she leaves even so much as a penny to me, I will give it to you," Andromeda said, her eyes wide with compassion.

"You don't have to do that," Sirius said, looking away.

"Sirius… You've always been like a sibling to me. The little brother I never had. I love my sisters. I really do, though we have our differences. But you're every bit as important to me. You're not having the life you deserve. It's not fair!" Andromeda said, sounding genuinely hurt and angry.

"What should it matter what family I was born into?" Sirius said.

"It's not the family you were born into. It's the family you've been denied. You're a beautiful, kind young man. You deserve better," Andromeda said.

Sirius shrugged and tried to ignore the sudden wetness of his eyes.

"Who is to say who deserves what?" Sirius asked, still avoiding Andromeda's gaze.

"I am! You shouldn't have had to run and hide. Your dreams are getting squandered out of fear," Andromeda said.

"I'm happy there. I know I seemed… down for a while. But things are better. Ever since James and I moved into this new place," Sirius said.

"It's that boy isn't it. I knew it! The way you look at him," Andromeda said.

Sirius turned to her and she was beaming. Sirius felt himself blush and he looked away again.

"It's not _just_ him," Sirius countered.

"Only mostly?" Andromeda pressed.

Sirius sighed and nodded.

"Something like that," Sirius admitted.

"How long have you been seeing him?" Andromeda asked.

"Oh, we're just friends. There's nothing really… happening," Sirius said.

"Just friends? Ted and I used to be just friends then he started looking at me the way you look at him," Andromeda said.

Sirius stood up, walking over to one of the large poles that held up the roof over her back porch.

"You don't understand. I can't just… I can't," Sirius said.

"But you want to, don't you?" Andromeda said, walking over to join him.

"Yes. No! I don't know," Sirius said quietly.

"Will you deny yourself everything that could make you happy?" Andromeda said.

"No… I just… I don't know if he feels the same way. And I've never felt this way before. I didn't think I could feel like this. But now… it's like… he's all I think about. I've nearly stopped caring about anything that doesn't involve him. I feel angry at myself for letting this happen but I can't help it. Every moment I am with him feels better than any moment I am without him," Sirius growled, hot tears falling down his face.

Andromeda quickly embraced him, laying her head on his chest.

"Oh, you poor dear. You shouldn't suffer like this. I know it's scary but sometimes love is a chance worth taking," Andromeda said.

"I want to believe that. God, will it always be like this? So intense?" Sirius said.

"No. It's new. New love always seems intense and painful. And it's your first time. Here. Come sit down with me. Tell me everything about Remus. _Everything_ ," Andromeda said, leading him back to their chairs as he wiped at his eyes.

* * *

 **Oh fuck!**

 _?_

 **Just got text from Mary. She'll be here tomorrow! *Panics***

 _Oh. Wow._

 **How can I make everything perfect in like 12 hours?**

 _Your house isn't exactly messy._

 **I CAN SEE THE FLAWS, JAMES.**

 _Smh tbh_

 **I'm going to drink twenty pots of coffee and clean all night.**

 _Won't you be tired when she gets there?_

 **Probably. Sleep well, James. XOXO**

 _Good luck!_

James was sort of grateful that he and his penis could get a rest that night. He'd enjoyed spending time with the Tonks family but he still felt like he was recovering from the drive down there. Remus and Sirius were already asleep. He'd insisted they sleep in an extra hour before getting moving the next day. Remus's sister would be in town the following night and James wasn't even sure what that would bring.

* * *

Lily stood in the living room, leaning sideways against the couch in anticipation. She only had about three hours of sleep and was completely exhausted but otherwise excited. She had many windows all over the house open as it was a disturbingly nice day. Warm weather was coming.

She was wearing her favorite purple tank top and sort of matching purple shorts. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, mostly because she was too exhausted to do much else with it.

When the knock on the door came she felt her smile surge and she dashed over to open it. Standing on the front porch was a brown-skinned woman a couple of inches shorter than her with a slim, athletic build. She had short dark-brown hair and dark brown eyes.

"Geez. Did you get cuter?" Lily asked, almost tackling her girlfriend.

Mary laughed and said, "I was going to ask you the same thing."

Lily pulled away and kissed Mary, not realizing how much she had missed her touch. Mary snickered playfully then pecked Lily on the nose.

"Can I come inside?" Mary asked.

"I insist," Lily said, stepping back to let Mary set her backpack down and remove her shoes.

"So this is your place. It's nice, Lil," Mary said, looking around.

Mary was the only one who called her 'Lil' rather than Lily or Lils. Lily really appreciated those things that made each one of her partners unique.

"Yeah. Are you hungry? I can heat up some soup. I'm… kind of tired," Lily admitted.

"You look pretty tired. But no, I had breakfast already. I was just kind of hoping to crash. I've heard that you have a _really_ soft bed," Mary said.

"You are welcome to it," Lily said.

"Cool. Maybe we could just… chill. Smoke some pot. Cuddle and make out until we fall asleep," Mary suggested.

Lily giggled then gave her girlfriend a kiss.

"Sounds good to me," Lily said, taking Mary upstairs by the hand.

* * *

Lily awoke with her girlfriend's head lying on her shoulder. She smiled and kissed her forehead, stirring her awake.

"Hey, babe. How'd you sleep?" Mary asked.

"Fine. It's like four in the afternoon now," Lily replied.

Mary yawned then said, "Damn."

She rolled out of the bed and presumably headed to the bathroom. Lily went to the one downstairs before meeting back with Mary in the bedroom.

"C'mere," Mary said and Lily sat down next to Mary on the edge of the bed and let Mary give her a deep kiss.

Lily giggled as she returned the kiss, enraptured by the softness of her girlfriend's lips.

"Man, no one kisses as good as you, Lil," Mary said.

"Thanks," Lily laughed.

They kissed again as Lily felt her body warming from head to toe, familiar urgency settling in.

"I can't believe you weren't trying to screw me the moment I walked in the door," Mary moaned into Lily's ear.

"I was tired and just kinda happy to see you," Lily said.

Mary nibbled on Lily's ear.

"How have you even survived for three months without getting laid?" Mary chuckled.

"Surviving is easy. If I'm horny I can just masturbate but…" Lily said, stopping to suck on the side of Mary's neck before continuing, "It starts to occupy all of your thoughts. It's not about the physical arousal it's just… wanting to get fucked. So then I get horny and masturbating isn't treating the root of the problem."

Mary's hand slid to Lily's inner thigh, lightly stroking with her thumb. Lily spread her thighs apart, welcoming her girlfriend's touch.

"Do you want me to get to the root of your problem?" Mary whispered in Lily's ear before kissing down the side of her neck.

"I want you to just… get all over the root," Lily said as Mary cupped his crotch in her hand.

"Tell me what to do, babe. I'll do whatever you want. This one's on me," Mary said, kissing down to tops of Lily's breasts.

"Fuck," Lily breathed as Mary's fingers rubbed her through her shorts.

" _Damn_ , babe. You _are_ happy to see me," Mary said, leaning up into a kiss.

"Uh huh," Lily said, feeling her legs continuing to spread, almost involuntarily.

"Come on. Tell me what to do you. How do you want me?" Mary begged.

"Honestly, if you could just eat me out like _immediately_ it'll pretty much feel like it's my birthday again," Lily said.

Mary licked her lips.

"Get your shit off and lay back. I'm gonna make you see _God_ ," Mary teased.

"Ooo," Lily said then quickly pulled off her tank top.

* * *

"Remus!" the small girl with dark hair said as she leapt up into his arms.

"Nat!" Remus called out, hugging her tightly.

Sirius grinned. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Remus that singularly happy before.

"Nat, these are my friends. James and Sirius," Remus said, gesturing between the two of them.

"Hi! Oh my god, can I hug you guys?" Natalie Lupin asked.

"You can hug me!" James said and she jumped over and hugged James.

"I'll… can we just high five?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. Just not too high. I'm short," Natalie snickered and jumped up to slap Sirius's hand.

Union Square was bustling with activity that afternoon, seeming pretty active for a Monday night, though Sirius supposed they weren't the only spring breakers who hadn't made the choice to go somewhere sunny and warm.

Natalie had texted Remus earlier suggesting they just wander around Union Square for a bit until they decided to eat. She was supposed to be meeting up with a friend in a few hours. Sirius frankly thought he'd had plenty of Union Square in his lifetime but the tourists liked it and it was new to Remus and Natalie.

He was still relieved when after an hour and a half of walking around they popped into a diner for dinner, which James, of course, insisted on paying for. Natalie seemed very taken with James. They flirted a little and James seemed in his element. This was how he usually was with girls, unlike with Lily Evans where he was a literal human disaster of awkwardness and hormones. Sirius knew that James was just having fun and Natalie probably was too.

After dinner, Natalie sadly had to depart, though she and Remus made plans to spend a day together later in the week. She said her goodbyes. The rest of them went back out into the evening air, looking for the night's entertainment.

* * *

Lily knew the sex had been good when she couldn't recall how many times she had came. The sex had more or less gone for three hours, ebbing and flowing as they took breaks to cuddle. Mary was a passionately giving lover and when she made it her quest to get you off as often and as hard as possible she never failed. The girl had stamina.

Lily looked around the bed. Lube and toys and clothing were strewn about. Between her legs Mary was kneeling proudly with a still glistening strap-on around her waist.

"How you doing?" Mary asked, still breathing hard.

"I think my pussy is finally as tired as the rest of me," Lily said.

Lily reached over and grabbed her phone. James had sent her a text a half hour before with a picture of Remus and Sirius making a silly pose. She smiled and texted back:

 **Those boys are so adorable.**

Mary had removed the strap-on and was now standing naked next to the bed.

"How's your hot boy doing?" Mary asked as she looked around, probably for her clothes, not being the sort to like sitting around naked.

"Enjoying San Francisco," Lily said, still finding it difficult to move.

"Tell me again why you and him aren't officially a thing and why he lives across the hall from you and I just had to give you like three months worth of orgasms," Mary said, pulling her shirt over her head.

"I… I don't know. My head is floppy right now, Mare. I'm just nervous. Been years since I've had a new partner. I just… don't want to do it over text or while both of us are busy. I just need a day with him where I can lay it all out and be like… I really fucking like you and I think you really fucking like me and if you want to tell people I'm your girlfriend I think that would be really fucking great," Lily said as her phone chimed.

Mary continued for her: "And now, kind sir, if you would please slam fuck me until I orgasm into unconsciousness."

Lily burst into laughter, dropping her phone to clutch her round belly.

"You laugh, but ten minutes ago I swear I saw your eyes roll back in your head," Mary said, sticking her tongue out.

"I'm not going to put it exactly like that but he will have a firm invitation to give it a try," Lily said, picking her phone back up.

 _Right? So how are you?_

"Oh god. James asked how I am," Lily said.

"So? Tell the truth," Mary replied, falling back onto the bed.

"Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't feel weird about it," Lily said.

"Dude, I'm definitely going to brag to at least two of my partners how good I fucked you. It's hot to share," Mary said.

"That's true," Lily said and texted James back.

 **Got laid. It was amazing :D**

 _Congrats!_

Lily laughed.

"He said congrats," Lily said.

"Now he's gonna go jerk off," Mary teased.

"He's in public, I hope not. We have been sexting a lot though. Though it keeps happening when we're in hotel rooms with other people," Lily said.

"Ouch. Well, hey, at least I'm cool with that. You can sext with him while I'm around. God knows you're insatiable," Mary said.

"I'm satiable! I get sated. I'm sated now. My genitals have taken a nap," Lily said, deciding to look for her clothes then clean things up.

"Yeah, for now. That boy has no clue how badly you're gonna wear him out does he," Mary said.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"You make me sound like some sort of… animal," Lily said.

Mary popped up and came from behind Lily, hugging her as she pulled her tank top back on.

"You are an animal… a cuddly animal," Mary cooed.

Lily chuckled.

"You're a fox," Lily said.

"What does the fox say?" Mary sang.

"Oh nooo," Lily laughed, pulling on her shorts, thinking she was sticky enough to warrant a shower.

Lily's phone chimed again and she picked it up.

 _Remus and Sirius want to hang out more in Union Square. I'm tired. Heading back to hotel._

"Huh. James heading back to hotel… alone," Lily said.

"See! Totally gonna spank the monkey! He gets turned on by thinking about you getting fucked just like I do," Mary said, kissing Lily on the cheek.

 **I'm gonna shower then have something to eat. We should chat after you get to the hotel ;)**

"Told him we could chat after he gets to the hotel," Lily said.

Mary laughed and they left the bedroom.

* * *

"Sarah!" Sirius said, at the person flipping through an Anne Rice novel mere feet in front of him.

The face turned and Sirius knew it was Sarah. He hadn't seen her in years but he would recognize his former best friend anywhere. Their friendship had ended painfully when Sirius had come out as trans.

"Huh. Oh. Sirius!" she said then quickly embraced him around his neck.

"Oh. Hey! How are you?" Sirius said as she pulled away.

"Good. And uh… It's Ryan now actually. Oh, is this your boyfriend?" Ryan said.

Sirius was surprised he hadn't noticed Ryan's appearance. Dark hair cut short. Flat chest. Other hints of masculinity.

"Uhhhh. So uh… we should talk," Sirius said.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and look at the YA stuff," Remus said, looking very ready to flee from another stranger.

"So. Yeah. Surprise, I guess. I'm trans," Ryan said.

"Congratulations," Sirius said.

"Sirius… fuck. I'm sorry. I know when I abandoned you… It killed me too. But I was afraid. I felt everything you felt and… I was afraid. I wasn't ready. I was afraid you would… drag me out of the closet. That sucked. It was bullshit. I'm sorry," Ryan said, looking ashamed.

"It did suck. I've wanted to hate you so much. But I've only ever felt pain," Sirius admitted.

"After your brother died I… I wanted so badly to find you but no one knew where you were. I know I don't deserve to be in your life but… I still think about you often," Ryan said.

"Let me give you my number. We should meet up again before I go back to Oregon," Sirius said.

"You're living in Oregon?" Ryan asked, his blue eyes wide with surprise.

"Yeah. Southern coast," Sirius replied.

"Wow. Well, yeah. I could… introduce you to my girlfriend, if you wanted," Ryan said.

"Sure. That would be nice," Sirius said then gave Ryan his number.

Sirius shortly departed from Ryan with a hug and a smile then went upstairs to find Remus. Remus was holding a David Levithan book entitled _Two Boys Kissing_. Sirius could feel emotions welling up inside of him.

"Sirius," Remus said as Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and began to weep, years of a broken heart pouring out of him.

Remus didn't ask any questions. He just held him close, letting the pain pass through him.

* * *

 _Home, sweet hotel bed._

Lily was lying in bed wearing nothing but a large t-shirt while Mary was on her laptop next to her busy with work stuff and other important things. Lily had a wand vibrator resting between her thighs, though it wasn't turned on.

 **Just resting in bed next to Mary.**

 _Oh. I'm alone._

 **What are you wearing?**

 _Uh… Pyjama bottoms?_

 **And?**

 _Boxers. No shirt._

 **Nice.**

Lily wanted to build herself back up before she bothered with the vibrator. She could already feel a mild ache, though.

 **So what are you doing?**

 _Isn't this weird with your girlfriend there?_

 **No. Unless it's weird for you.**

 _No. I just… didn't know if she was… I'm not sure how consent works here._

 **She knows what's up. Trust me. I told you she was here to make sure you knew.**

 _Oh. Ah. Well, thanks._

 **Does it turn you on knowing that she's watching me?**

Lily smiled over at her girlfriend. Mary wasn't really watching her that hard but she did return her glance to smile back. If she knew Mary as well as she thought she did, once the vibrator got going she would find it difficult to ignore what was going on.

 _Yeah. Is that bad?_

 **No. Did it turn you on thinking about us fucking earlier?**

 _Yeah. Is THAT bad?_

 **No. I'm just curious.**

 _I felt guilty. Like… I always thought I was supposed to be jealous if the girl I liked was sleeping with someone else._

 _Turns out I'm kinda into it. Not that it's any of my business…_

 **Are you hard?**

 _Yeah._

 **Nice. Touching yourself? :D**

 _Yeah._

 **What does it feel like?**

 _Good. I'm pretty worked up. Rubbing myself through my pyjamas._

Lily bit her lip and pictured James Potter, sexy and shirtless, rubbing the bulge she had seen before but never really touched. She lifted up the bottom of her t-shit and pressed the wand within her slit, then pushed the button to turn it onto the lowest setting, hoping it would hold in place well enough.

 **What are you thinking about?**

 _You._

 **More specific?**

 _Are you really still horny after sex?_

 **Yup.**

 _Thinking about you. Being with you. Naked and hot. Exploring your body._

Lily licked her lips and rubbed herself with the vibrator. Mary was still typing on her laptop but Lily could see her glancing over, definitely taking an interest.

 **Sounds nice. I wanna know what that sexy mouth of yours would feel like on my body.**

 _Yeah._

Thinking about James Potter's full-lipped mouth on her clit was always a solid path to a good orgasm. Mary put away her laptop, definitely too distracted by what Lily was doing.

"Don't mind if I watch, do you? Feeling kinda turned on too," Mary said.

"Go right ahead," Lily said.

 **Looks like we are turning my girlfriend on. She's touching herself too.**

Mary was on her side, a hand slid into her pyjama bottoms silently working away.

 _Nice. I'm really stroking it now. Wish you could see me._

 **Just wait until you get back. We'll make time.**

 _Yeah._

 **I'll ride you and make you cum so hard it hurts.**

Lily turned the speed up on the vibrator. It was hard to hold it in place when her inclination was to rub against it and rock her pelvis. She set her phone down on her chest to rub herself with the vibrator for a minute, so turned on by imagining herself on top of James, hands exploring his chest while his own arousal filled her up.

 _Remus and Sirius on the way to hotel. I need to cum._

 **I'm close too. I'm so wet thinking about you.**

Lily glanced over at Mary who was still silently stroking herself, not wishing to interact. Lily turned the vibrator up to its highest setting, feeling herself climbing to the edge of ecstasy.

 _Gonna cum. Shit._

 **:D**

A moment later James texted her a picture of himself right after coming, returning her favor from before. She stared at the picture of his beautiful face and rubbed the vibrator on her clit until her orgasm exploded through her. Seconds later Mary let out soft moans as she got herself off.

Lily giggled with euphoria and turned her vibrator off, setting it aside.

 **I came. It was nice.**

 _Same. Cleaning up. Afraid Remus and Sirius will catch me._

Lily found the notion of James getting caught by Remus and Sirius masturbating kinda hot but decided not to share that with him.

 _Okay. All in bed. They won't suspect a thing. Well… they probably will but…_

 **Heh. I'm gonna smoke some weed then go to sleep.**

 _Good night. I miss you._

 **:) I miss you too.**

* * *

On Wednesday night after getting back from spending the day with his sister, Remus came back to the hotel and asked Sirius to spend Friday with him. Sirius had given him a stunned look but smiled then said yes.

Remus hadn't been exactly sure what compelled him to ask. He couldn't bear the idea that Saturday they would be returning to Oregon and they wouldn't have had a day to spend together. Thursday they had plans with James which only left Friday.

 _Oh no, I asked Sirius to spend the day with me, Friday D:_

 **Awesome! What are you going to do?**

 _Panic, probably._

 **No, I mean, specifically.**

 _Idk_

Remus set his phone aside. Maybe they could go to Golden Gate Park. Maybe Sirius would want to take some pictures of him. He liked it when pictures took pictures of him. He felt flattered that Sirius found him worthy of art, even if he also thought Sirius must be blind.

He thought of the way that Sirius looked at him. Surely he was just faking that. Remus had looked at himself in the mirror plenty. There was nothing special there. He'd also thought he was weird looking and he'd never gotten that much attention in school or anything. But Sirius… Sirius looked at him like no one else ever had before. He looked at him like he was something worth looking at. To receive such flattery from someone so beautiful was the greatest compliment Remus could imagine.

* * *

Remus found it difficult to concentrate on the various things they did on Thursday. Friday was all he could think about. He was nervous and excited. He wondered if it counted as a first date. What made a date a date? He wasn't sure. But he was certain it was going to be special.

Once Friday morning came Remus discovered that his nerves were threatening to put a stop to the whole thing. It was difficult to silence them but he managed. Sirius was into the idea of wandering around Golden Gate Park all day, which was good because Remus didn't have much of a backup plan.

Morning passed by as they walked around the park. Remus babbled about his fanfic and Sirius babbled about his photography, occasionally stopping to let Sirius take pictures of him. They stopped to look at various sights though they had agreed not to do anything that required money. Remus had invited Sirius out but couldn't really afford to pay for much of anything.

For lunch they reluctantly left the park and got some cheap fast food. Remus felt a little embarrassed but Sirius didn't seem to mind. It felt good to pay for something anyway. Remus rarely had such an opportunity.

As afternoon passed they continued to wander around the park, half people watching and half watching each other. Remus found his eyes darting to Sirius's long-fingered hands. He wondered how he would react if Remus were to try to hold one of them. Were they to that point in whatever this relationship was? Was it safe to acknowledge that much affection?

They were standing next to one of the lakes when Remus finally took the chance. They were standing next to each other in silence and he moved his hand over to Sirius's, stretching just his index finger at first to curl around Sirius's pinky.

Remus's heart pounded in his chest as Sirius's hand slid into place, his long fingers gliding into Remus's palm. Remus gently squeezed and felt unable to breathe. He feared if he moved or said anything the moment would end. So instead they held in place. Remus felt as if he could feel the same anxieties and doubt in Sirius. Every twitch his hand made sent panic through Remus.

The moment seemed to last forever. It was Remus who finally pulled away, slowly not sharply, letting Sirius's hand fall from his grip as they walked away from that spot. Remus could breathe again and desperately wanted to let Lily know what had happened but didn't want to make Sirius think that he was making a big deal out of it. So they continued to walk in relative silence, neither acknowledging what had happened.

* * *

James Potter desperately grunted on his hotel bed as he frantically stroked himself. His head lolled to the side, watching as Lily texted him naughty thoughts. She was currently describing in detail the care and passion she would give to performing oral sex on him.

He continued to find himself amazed at the power of her sex drive. He thought for sure that having one of her girlfriends come to visit for a few days would temper that flame. He was wrong.

 **Did you cum?**

 _No. But I want to._

James realized how ridiculous he looked with his long legs spread wide on his hotel bed, pumping his shaft with a hand like it was nobody's business. It would be just his luck for the boys to come back to the hotel and catch him redhanded. It was getting late and they would surely be back soon.

 **I'm gonna cum. Can't. Fuck.**

James saw Lily's latest text and stroked himself hard, rubbing the rim of the head of his shaft with his fingers in an O shape.

"Uh. Oh. Unnnhh," James moaned to no one as he felt pleasure fill his body and his cock flexed hard then shot thick streams of his come onto his torso.

 _Came too._

 **Nice :)**

James looked down as his cock squirted a few more spurts, sending small shudders of pleasure through him. And then the hotel door began to open.

"Fuck!" James frantically grabbed whatever clothes he could reach, fell out of bed and dashed into the bathroom.

"James?" Sirius called out.

"Bathroom!" James shouted, looking down at his still bobbing erection and sticky torso.

Neither Remus or Sirius said anything further. James realized he'd left his phone on the bed but had no choice but to clean up and get dressed. He decided to jump in the shower. He knew the boys would have their suspicions but what did it matter? He was a grownup! If he wanted to play with his penis over the phone with his sort of girlfriend he damn well could!

When he came out of the bathroom he rushed over to his phone to apologize to Lily.

 **…U OK? Did you cum so hard you died?**

 _R/S walked in right after I came._

 **FUCK. ROFL.**

 _I had to haul ass to the bathroom. Left my phone. I'm like 1000% sure they know what happened._

James looked over at Remus and Sirius. They were huddled on Remus's bed, looking at something on Remus's laptop and chuckling. Probably a YouTube video or something.

"How was your day?" James asked.

They both looked at him stunned for a second but Sirius answer, "It was nice."

"Yeah," Remus confirmed.

James smiled. Even after a day together they seemed that much closer together.

 _Remus and Sirius looking cozy._

 **3 Excellent.**

"Gotta get lots of sleep tonight, boys. Long drive in the morning," James said.

 _Really looking forward to getting home tomorrow. I miss you._

 **Me too. I think we should… have a talk. About us.**

 _Sounds good to me :)_

* * *

The nice thing about the drive back up home was that Remus had seen everything coming down and could just relax in the back seat. Halfway up Sirius asked if he could join him in the back. Remus surprised himself by enjoying the company. Sirius re-read parts of his fanfic on his phone and they went over pictures he had taken over the week.

The trip seemed to fly by. Remus wondered if this was what falling in love was like. Once it grabbed you, you lost all sense of time, left with no choice but to let it carry you along. It was like a force was pulling the two of them together. It was incredible but terrifying. Remus felt helpless. He was getting emotionally invested and he couldn't stop it. Sirius was a drug he was becoming addicted to.

Around three in the afternoon they made it back home. Lily was sitting out front wearing one of her favorite light and airy spring dresses covered in tie-dyed colors.

"Ahhh!" Lily shouted as she ran down to the car and hugged all three of them in turn, adding a deep kiss for James as she got to him.

"I've missed you guys! Come inside! I've got a surprise!" Lily said with excitement then ran up to the porch and dashed inside.

James, Remus and Sirius all looked at each other and chuckled then followed her up to the front door. As they removed their shoes, Lily walked up, carrying a large fluffy feline in her arms.

"Surprise. I got a cat! Mary was talking about her cat… and… well, I went down to a shelter," Lily said with a bright smile.

"Kitty!" Sirius said and hopped over to pet the grey, purring cat.

"What's its name?" Remus asked.

"I was thinking of calling him Flitwick. You remember Mr. Flitwick, right, Remus?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. He was great. Sort of odd but in a good way," Remus said.

"A teacher?" James asked.

"Yeah. Biology," Remus replied.

Remus looked down at the cat, whose head was currently rubbing happily against Lily's bosom as Sirius stroked its chin. He did sort of look Flitwick-esque… if you squinted.

"So I've got snacks. Thought we'd munch and catch up. After you guys are settled in or whatever," Lily said, looking hopeful.

* * *

The sun had set and everyone had headed off to their respective rooms when James decided to step onto the back porch. He took out his phone and sent Lily a text.

 _Ready for that talk? I'm on the back porch._

Lily didn't even reply. She was downstairs in a flash. Flitwick the cat, mewed from the other side of the backdoor, sounding disappointed he wasn't going out too.

"Hey," James said as Lily at down next to him on the back steps.

"Hey," Lily said warmly, then scooted next to him.

"You first. I mean… you wanted the talk," James said.

"Yeah. I guess… Having Mary here for a few days got me thinking. It was just… so nice having a partner around. I had almost grown used to this new reality and then… when she left I wasn't just sad she was going but I was sad I wasn't going to have _that_ anymore," Lily said, her face turned away, hiding her emotions.

"I've never lived with a partner before. Actually… before here, my parents and Sirius were the only people I ever lived with," James said.

"I've lived with partners ever since I moved out at eighteen. When you've got so much love you want to give it's nice… being able to give it. It's not about the sex. The sex is just… I have a really high sex drive. That's just part of how I am. The way I'm wired. Mary being here reminded me how much I just… love to drown myself in love and another person," Lily said.

James's heart was pounding. He thought he should say something but he wasn't sure what. Lily turned to him. She was smiling and her eyes shined with tears.

"I don't know what you feel but I really like you, James Potter. I love you. I keep waiting for something to happen. I keep waiting for your unforgivable flaw to arise. But you are kind and giving. Patient and noble. You didn't get weird while Mary was here. You're also super hot and I wanna get naked with you," Lily chuckled.

James felt himself blush and wanted to find something to cover his face with but looked down and said, "Thank you."

"So I guess…. What I'm saying is… I'd really like to be your girlfriend. Officially. I think I'd like that a lot. Maybe it doesn't change much. But I guess I'm just… inviting you in," Lily said, gesturing at the center of her chest where her heart was.

James was almost certain he was trembling.

"I think I would like that. I must admit… none of the relationships I've had, since high school at least, have barely lasted as long as I've known you. I guess I was with Charity for almost seven months. That was the most serious relationship I've had. But I never felt like this… I liked her a lot. It hurt when she broke up with me. But you… I want to be a part of you and everything you are. I… I love you too," James admitted.

Tears streamed down Lily's face. Her green eyes seemed brighter than ever before. James was trying to maintain composure but he was feeling _so much_ inside.

"Sounds good to me," Lily said with a smile.

"We should kiss right? Please tell me this is the part where we kiss!" James said, feeling the tears that he could no longer control falling down his face.

"Definitely," Lily said, leaning her red-painted lips into his.

James let all the emotion flow from him, tears freely falling as their lips glided together in unity and love. They didn't pull away until all the tears had stopped. James wiped at his face with his shirtsleeve then laughed.

"I'm so weak for you, Evans," James said.

"Tears are strength, not weakness," Lily said with a smile.

"That's probably true," James said.

Lily placed a light-brown hand on his dark-hand and squeezed.

"Now what?" James asked.

"We need to consummate this relationship. Right here. Right now. Pants off!" Lily said then stuck her tongue out at him.

James laughed then shook his head.

"I might get splinters," James said, looking back at the old wooden porch with concern.

"Fair. I could still blow you," Lily suggested with a shrug.

Great, James thought. On top of the hormonal rush of so many emotions, James was starting to get a hard-on.

"No. We should like… I mean we've gone this long right? We should make it a date. Pick a Saturday and I'll give Remus, Sirius and Peter money to go out and do something for the day. Just me and you in the house alone for the day. No hurdles or chance of anyone interrupting us. No worries. Just… get it out of our systems," James said.

"Dude, if you think a single day of us boning is going to get it out of my system…" Lily said, giving him a skeptical look.

James laughed.

"No! I just mean… you know what I mean! We have a lot of roommates. We can… be free. Uninhibited," James said.

"Tomorrow is a Saturday," Lily said, elbowing James.

"I think Remus and Sirius would kill me if I asked them to leave the house. Especially poor Remus. He must be overjoyed to be back in his attic and alone," James said.

* * *

Remus and Sirius sat on Sirius's bed reminiscing about the trip and Remus didn't think there was anywhere else in the world he would rather be at that moment.

"There's so much I should've shown you. A week isn't long enough. We should go back sometime. I can really show you all my old haunts," Sirius said.

"That sounds cool. Though maybe I've had enough trips for now," Remus said, knowing full well that there might be more trips coming that summer.

Sirius smiled with recognition and nodded.

"I can imagine," Sirius said.

Remus found he couldn't stop watching Sirius's mouth. His pale-pink lips were thin but looked ever so soft. The desire to kiss someone was so inexplicable. Sexual desire made sense. Touching genitals felt nice and lead to orgasms. But pressing your mouth to another mouth was objectively strange yet infinitely appealing, especially at that moment.

Sirius seemed to have detected something. His grey eyes searched Remus's face and Remus licked his lips. He wanted to lean in and part of him was confident that Sirius would let him kiss him. But instead he looked down at the bed, terrified of moving too fast and scaring Sirius off.

"It was really nice. I liked our day in the park. We should do more stuff like that. Especially this summer," Remus said.

"Yeah. That would be cool," Sirius replied and Remus's hand crept up to Sirius's.

Remus placed his hand over Sirius's resting hand, lightly squeezing. He felt like his heart might burst if he continued to hold it there but he didn't want to let go, anymore than he had during that moment by the lake.

"It's nice isn't it, that James and Lily are working out?" Sirius said.

"Yeah. I'm happy for them," Remus said, knowing that they were talking as much about each other as they were them.

They didn't say anything else. Remus knew that eventually he would pull his hand away and go to bed. If this was love that Remus knew he had been a fool to have ever resisted it. At that moment he didn't care if love would strike him dead in the long run. It just might be worth it.


End file.
